I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
