oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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