i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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