If i come over, it means nothing
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
