So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she looked like the before picture.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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