38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
