Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
