whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
