I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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