Ambien. No doubt about it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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