Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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