Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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