to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
