It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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