Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
