there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
