I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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