It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
