Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
