i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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