i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
