absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
