Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
