Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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