Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is classic penis vs brain.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm like, not good at living.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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