Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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