PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
