apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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