I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
