Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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