You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The adults are the big ones right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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