She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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