ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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