it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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