Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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