I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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