the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
