so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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