Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
