seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
