is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
