thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
