Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
