He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
