dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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