i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
