Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
