well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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