Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
