we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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