Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
