i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
