Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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